Excuse Me, Life!

"Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?" Job 12:12 I made an unforgettable visit before leaving Florida. Meet Ethel, my grandma's neighbor. She will be 95 in June, but I swear she's just like my 24 year-old girlfriends. We talked about her career as a dental assistant, growing up on Long Island, living in Europe and the men in her life. "I don't feel old, so I certainly don't dress old like others. I wear what I like. The redder the better." "Choose love wisely." "Don't let love blind you to what life should be." "Dance. It makes you feel alive." "My wish is to make it to 95. When that comes I will find something else to do. I can always find something to do." Simple words to summarize a life fully lived with powerful stories of laughter and tears; a life that hasn't stopped because of age.

Everyone seems to have it together – smiles and joy all around. Facebook might as well call the news feed a “highlight reel of happiness.” Is there a need for others to validate our happy moments? It’s a slippery slope when we start to compare and create a perception of how our lives should be. Why am I not married? Why does my boyfriend not post how much he loves me to the world? Why didn’t I get as much for Christmas? I wonder what it would be like to see behind the smiles of all those happy-face posts. I look so happy don’t I? In reality, that whole night I was incredibly depressed and crying because of a break up. It’s like that song by Rascal Flatts, Easy. “It’s easy going out on Friday night… I can smile, live it up… what he don’t know is how hard it is to make it look so easy.” I understand wanting to share happiness but that can easily turn into seeking validation without even realizing it. Are we trying to convince others or ourselves that we are as h...

Last night I visited Hospice of Dayton to sing Christmas carols with some incredible women from my bible study. I'm also a regular volunteer at a nursing home in Dayton.  With every encounter this passion of mine  grows stronger and continues to advance my dream (details to come). Often referred to as “the elderly” or “old people” because of this thing called age that measures our time here on earth. I’m still not sure how I feel about society’s need to label for contextual understanding. It takes away from the beauty of a unique individual or situation that can only be experienced, not labeled. What do you see? On the outside there may be wrinkles and trouble getting around, but I don’t see old. I see a life full of living, wise in all her experiences. I see those moments of falling in love and broken hearts to getting married and having a family.   That time we snuck out or stayed up all night laughing – we are no different. She's just ahead of me ...

This last year had one too many "Excuse me, life" moments. Everything from graduating college and starting my career to getting laid off and moving back to the one place I never wanted to return to – Dayton, Ohio. May 2011 Graduation! There's an insane amount of pressure that comes with graduating college. You're attacked with questions about the future and plans. Even job interviews ask, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I just want to ask, "Are you where you thought you'd be five years ago?" Exactly!  It's not enough that we're thrown into this world of bills, responsibility and life decisions. Everything leading to graduation had defined steps and a timeline (Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, College for some). I had no idea what I was walking into as I stood on stage receiving a piece of paper – proof that I was “ready” to enter the “real world.” I was just happy to have a job that actually rel...

EXCUSE ME, LIFE!

Writing. It’s something I’ve always loved. As a young girl I wrote three books. I made family newsletters and mailed them to everyone. In junior high, I was part of a competitive writing club, “ Power of the Pen .” I was the sports editor of the town paper my senior year of high school. I wrote for the college newspaper and foundation office. I look back at some of the things I wrote, amazed by what I created with letters and a canvas. I almost feel inferior to my former self. Why, you ask? Somewhere along the road, I let go of my first love. They say to become a better writer, write. I feel that I’ve lost that piece of myself – the ability to create something I’m proud to sign my name to. I’m overwhelmed with insecurities but choosing to fight for my first love... to find that passion and let it flow as naturally as it has in the past. This brings me to my next thought, "How or why do we lose our passions?" Until next time...

You know when someone or something really just fries your fritter?! It's like, "Excuuuuse ME!" That's the attitude I have towards life sometimes. The twists and turns of life. It's a roller coaster you can't get off of, so hold tight and enjoy the ride! Sometimes you just have to say, "Excuse me, life" and keep trucking along! ;-) This is my story. Something about our struggles bringing comfort and perspective to others makes it all worth it.