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One of THOSE days!

EXCUSE ME, LIFE!

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Behind the Smiles

Everyone seems to have it together – smiles and joy all around. Facebook might as well call the news feed a “highlight reel of happiness.” Is there a need for others to validate our happy moments? It’s a slippery slope when we start to compare and create a perception of how our lives should be. Why am I not married? Why does my boyfriend not post how much he loves me to the world? Why didn’t I get as much for Christmas? I wonder what it would be like to see behind the smiles of all those happy-face posts. I look so happy don’t I? In reality, that whole night I was incredibly depressed and crying because of a break up. It’s like that song by Rascal Flatts, Easy. “It’s easy going out on Friday night… I can smile, live it up… what he don’t know is how hard it is to make it look so easy.” I understand wanting to share happiness but that can easily turn into seeking validation without even realizing it. Are we trying to convince others or ourselves that we are as h...
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Uncensored: Losing My Faith

Losing my faith didn't happen overnight. It’s been a long process of self-loathing, tug of war, hot and cold, on and off. I remember conversations with friends who aren't believers. They didn't give me one solid reason why. I remember questioning them in shock and horror like wow I can’t believe you don’t believe. When they shared their arguments and questions I came back at them with what I call cliché sentiments of “religious spit.” THEM: So you’re saying anyone who doesn't believe that Jesus is the savior and acknowledges it devoting their life to serving Him will go to hell? All the people in the world, all the other religions are wrong. ME: Yes. That’s what the bible says and the bible is truth. THEM: Why do you believe the bible is truth? It was written centuries ago by MAN, parts of it left out and translated over time. ME: Well yes God spoke through men to write it. I said all of those things because that’s what I was surrounded by and heard my whole l...
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Learning to Live

Call it a quarter-life crisis, but this year I've experienced, learned and grown more than any other time in my life. Losing my grandma has brought with it more than I ever could have imagined. So many questions about myself, life and the reality of my own mortality. That combined with what has been a long adjusting transition into the post-college real world - every perception was slowly shattered. Through a self-loathing struggle I realized I was trying to live a life according to rules and expectations created by others. When I let all of that go it put me on the path to finding myself. I've never felt more free, inspired or alive.  I'm 25, have a good career, but living with my parents and not saving money, preparing for retirement or getting married like everyone tells me to. I see it like this: I'm young, no mortgage, no kids... and most of all - tomorrow is never promised. I've made the choice to do things I've always wanted to do like travel...
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