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Break the Cycle


At some point in life we are all likely to find ourselves in an unhealthy relationship or situation. The lows make you want to find freedom but the highs keep you coming back for more. The constant back and forth can go on for so long that it becomes a way of life. At what point do you break the cycle and find a way out?

These are just a few things that I had to learn the hard way through these unhealthy life experiences…

Love yourself.
Can you tell a difference in your attitude, behavior or health? Sometimes it’s so bad that your answer is no. This is when you need to listen to those close to you. You could be in so deep that you’ve accepted things as they are, as if they’re supposed to be that way. Love yourself enough to be honest about seeing things the way they really are. Take off your rose colored glasses. You deserve more!

Find patterns.
After so long things can become a blur. The inner turmoil is agonizing with all the mixed feelings. Sometimes it is like a downward spiral of emotions leading to vulnerable choices that can often continue the cycle. Take a step back and connect the dots. How long did the highs and lows last each time? What events or words lead to the highs and lows? What were your feelings around those events or words?

Your past does not determine your future.
Maybe you’ve convinced yourself you were done and free but fell back into the unhealthy relationship or situation. When you start to feel like you’re about to overcome it again you have some doubt because you have felt a similar feeling in the past and it got you nowhere. You can’t base your freedom on past attempts failed.

The lessons.
A lesson can be found in anything. It’s up to you to find it. Discovering lessons can bring a sense of freedom and understanding. However, we can sometimes attach our experiences of growth to people or things that were a part of the process. Know that your growth was only made possible because of YOUR power and perspective to see and embrace the lessons. The people or things were merely tools, don’t give them too much credit.

Find closure.
When it comes to relationships some people will want to keep you an option and won’t ever come out and say this is the absolute end, even if they might think it is. Closure does not need to be mutual. The cycle stops when you make the conscious decision that no matter the circumstances or other person’s move - your position doesn’t change.

Release yourself.
Let go. Walk away. Don’t look back. And remember all of the above! 

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