Writing to Balance

I feel as if I'm processing at hyper speeds that my body cannot keep up with but my spirit says need not worry.

I let go to find this unexplainable peace that to the logical brain makes no sense because one must analyze and understand...

I begin to see beyond the labels society has tarnished with its judgements and concerns.

I wonder...

I explore...

If I stay here too long I fear I cannot be related to as merely a soul. I return to words in an attempt to communicate.

So here I am... writing for the balance of mind, body, soul.

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Uncensored: Losing My Faith

Losing my faith didn't happen overnight. It’s been a long process of self-loathing, tug of war, hot and cold, on and off. I remember conversations with friends who aren't believers. They didn't give me one solid reason why. I remember questioning them in shock and horror like wow I can’t believe you don’t believe. When they shared their arguments and questions I came back at them with what I call cliché sentiments of “religious spit.” THEM: So you’re saying anyone who doesn't believe that Jesus is the savior and acknowledges it devoting their life to serving Him will go to hell? All the people in the world, all the other religions are wrong. ME: Yes. That’s what the bible says and the bible is truth. THEM: Why do you believe the bible is truth? It was written centuries ago by MAN, parts of it left out and translated over time. ME: Well yes God spoke through men to write it. I said all of those things because that’s what I was surrounded by and heard my whole l...

An Old Letter

When I moved back to Dayton a year ago I struggled with having to leave friends. When I left Dayton for college all those friendships in Dayton faded. I started over in my new home of Northern Kentucky and when I had to leave these friends the fear of them not going the extra mile to maintain our friendship terrified me. I left them all with a letter that I haven't read since then. I just found it and wanted to share. What a coincidence, exactly 13 months ago... December 14, 2012 Dear Friend, Do what you love. Do what makes you happy, the rest will follow. What you love and what makes you happy now could change and probably will change, but that’s OK. It just means you’re growing. Often times you outgrow people. Learn to accept it, let go and remember you’ll always take a piece of them with you. Smile and reflect on the memories but don’t consume yourself with them, there are many more ahead. Don’t conform to the ways of the world or societal norms. That’s when you lose si...

Behind the Smiles

Everyone seems to have it together – smiles and joy all around. Facebook might as well call the news feed a “highlight reel of happiness.” Is there a need for others to validate our happy moments? It’s a slippery slope when we start to compare and create a perception of how our lives should be. Why am I not married? Why does my boyfriend not post how much he loves me to the world? Why didn’t I get as much for Christmas? I wonder what it would be like to see behind the smiles of all those happy-face posts. I look so happy don’t I? In reality, that whole night I was incredibly depressed and crying because of a break up. It’s like that song by Rascal Flatts, Easy. “It’s easy going out on Friday night… I can smile, live it up… what he don’t know is how hard it is to make it look so easy.” I understand wanting to share happiness but that can easily turn into seeking validation without even realizing it. Are we trying to convince others or ourselves that we are as h...

Excuse Me, Life!

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