Skip to main content

An Old Me Came to Visit

Here I am, back writing after four years... revisiting a Lauren from THEN who lived a lie that went something like this:

"I can't be me... If I show struggle, If I ask the hard questions... I'll be told stupid things that don't make sense. Just fake it so they leave you alone, save yourself the confusion of never getting it."

Having been raised in the church I observed how others talked, acted, their testimonies... I would try so hard to find anything that resembled that in my life... I started to believe my own faking and craved experiences to validate what I so badly did not understand deep down. 

It became a game of forcing scenarios, everything from thinking God told me this... to God gave me this... look at me, look at me... I'm such a good example of Christ! These were my explanations when I got laid off from my first job out of college in 2011 and unwillingly returned to Dayton.

The scariest part -- I believed it. Before I knew it I had created an entirely false identity. In 2012, at my worst I was so sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that I found "the one." When that didn't work out my world came tumbling down... I walked away from religion entirely. A horrible mourning process as I shed my false identities.

I lost myself. Who was I? I didn't even know. More lies came...

"You aren't worthy to experience whatever this life of abundance is people speak of. What do you have to offer? Just blend in."

I questioned this for a while... it was a slow process. I faced the lies I told myself head on
My journey since then has felt like an accelerated whirlwind of self-discovery and living a life so free. I found an aliveness I never experienced. Everything I longed to understand and experience came when I left the dogmatic, fear-based culture of "you have to." 

As I continued on this awakened journey I found myself making a full circle and drawn back into a church scene in April 2017. The difference was this time it was by my choice and from an authentic connection outside of the church. Individuals who were the most Christ-like church going people I had ever encountered. I had a new appreciation, I could resonate with the teachings and enjoyed it. 

However, I wasn't prepared for what would happen next... the Lauren who felt she couldn't be herself and doubted what she could contribute came rushing back in. I resisted her when she came back. Then I found the compassion to embrace her. She's still here hanging out for now. This time, she doesn't need to lie and hide. 

Let's see how this goes...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Uncensored: Losing My Faith

Losing my faith didn't happen overnight. It’s been a long process of self-loathing, tug of war, hot and cold, on and off. I remember conversations with friends who aren't believers. They didn't give me one solid reason why. I remember questioning them in shock and horror like wow I can’t believe you don’t believe. When they shared their arguments and questions I came back at them with what I call cliché sentiments of “religious spit.” THEM: So you’re saying anyone who doesn't believe that Jesus is the savior and acknowledges it devoting their life to serving Him will go to hell? All the people in the world, all the other religions are wrong. ME: Yes. That’s what the bible says and the bible is truth. THEM: Why do you believe the bible is truth? It was written centuries ago by MAN, parts of it left out and translated over time. ME: Well yes God spoke through men to write it. I said all of those things because that’s what I was surrounded by and heard my whole l

An Old Letter

When I moved back to Dayton a year ago I struggled with having to leave friends. When I left Dayton for college all those friendships in Dayton faded. I started over in my new home of Northern Kentucky and when I had to leave these friends the fear of them not going the extra mile to maintain our friendship terrified me. I left them all with a letter that I haven't read since then. I just found it and wanted to share. What a coincidence, exactly 13 months ago... December 14, 2012 Dear Friend, Do what you love. Do what makes you happy, the rest will follow. What you love and what makes you happy now could change and probably will change, but that’s OK. It just means you’re growing. Often times you outgrow people. Learn to accept it, let go and remember you’ll always take a piece of them with you. Smile and reflect on the memories but don’t consume yourself with them, there are many more ahead. Don’t conform to the ways of the world or societal norms. That’s when you lose si

What is church?

"Wait, you go to church?" Interesting to take note of the comments people make when they learn that I go to church. I still almost don't believe myself when I say I go to church. Never thought I'd step foot back in one let alone openly share that I go. I wouldn't want someone thinking I'm a judgmental, double-standard hypocrite!   What made me return to church? THE PEOPLE! Meeting awesome people in my every day life who happened to be part of a church. I suppose if they were part of a bowling league this post would be talking about how I now bowl...   They didn't have Christian jargon coming out of their mouth every other sentence. If that were the case my church PTSD would have shut the door immediately.   Their Instagram feeds showed real life rather than it being full of long prayers, scriptures and shots of their bible next to their coffee. They openly drank, said a curse word every now and then, made perverted jokes for fun... I mean th